Self Protection

Since Rudyard Kipling’s poem ‘If—’ was first published in Kipling’s volume of short stories and poems, Rewards and Fairies, in 1910, it has become one of his best-known poems. In a poll in 1995 it was voted the UK’s favorite poem of all time. It has also been highly researched and analyzed. Of course, coaches and gurus quote and misquote it to draw on its unique style of stoicism.

In truth, stoicism is what it is about. It is about protecting oneself from what many call ‘psychic attack.’ I used to think psychic attacks were the stuff of fiction, but since becoming an entrepreneur and then a writer I understand the very real nature of them. People and various media are quick to ridicule those who stand up for themselves. Also, I realized that the biggest source of psychic attack is my own mind, my natural tendency to doubt myself, being my own worst (or best) critic. Sound familiar?

According to Kipling in his autobiography, Something of Myself (1937), the origins of ‘If—’ lie in the failed Jameson raid of 1895-6, when the British colonial statesman Leander Starr Jameson led a raid against the South African (Boer) Republic over the New Year weekend. Jameson intended to rouse the British expatriates living in the Transvaal to rise up against the Boer government, but his fellow Brits showed no inclination to revolt. Instead, Jameson’s bungled military action helped to create the climate that would lead to the Second Boer War a few years later.

Kipling knew Jameson, and recorded in Something of Myself: ‘Among the verses in Rewards was one set called “If” … They were drawn from Jameson’s character, and contained counsels of perfection most easy to give.’

A loyal patriot, Jameson’s raid was a clandestine event sponsored and authorized by the British government. When it went badly the British government turned its back on him and he rotted in jail for a few years in Africa. When he was finally released he never once sought blame or recompense. His stoic acceptance of the events is what inspired Rudyard, also a devout colonialist, to write the poem after he visited his cell. It really is about developing thick skin, accepting life’s sometimes twisted journey, and not letting anything throw us off track.

Kipling was also a propagandist who worked for what was then a more powerful political British monarchy. Britain is still a Constitutional Monarchy (not a democracy as many people believe) but the monarchy has a lot less influence today. Back then Kilping was like a leading social media influencer is today. He was Britain’s first Nobel Prize Winner for Literature, and remains the youngest ever winner at a time when writing and reading were the only media tools of communication.

Many young men, including my grandfather, were convinced to go to the trenches in Belgium to fight for ‘freedom’ based on his cajoling through the media of the time (lots of letters and articles in the main newspapers, stage shows with speeches and subliminal threats of cowardice reprisals to those who refused to fight.) He was a truly great writer, and at the time just about everybody read Kipling in all his media outlets especially newspapers and magazines.

He also cajoled his son to join up. His son failed the medical entrance exams (eyesight) to the Royal Navy, but Kipling was influential in overcoming the bureaucracy to get his half-blind son an officer’s commission in the infantry. His son, John, was killed six weeks later at the Battle of Loos. (a film called ‘My Boy Jack’ tells this powerful story).

I keep a copy of ‘IF’ nearby and read it frequently whenever I sense a psychic attack…even from myself.

Through the transformation process we can become more sensitive to the energy of others and knowing someone is against us, criticizing us, rejecting our ideas, can feel uncomfortable and even draining. Sometimes, being around negative people feels like being around energy vampires. They feel like they are sucking out all our high energy. It’s rarely malicious and even well meaning people can do that to us when they fear we might be getting ‘ahead’ of ourselves. I still recall telling my father of one of my ambitions and his response said out of affinity was “Look son, it’s me you’re talking to.” I never felt so deflated, but back then I didn’t understand the threat of psychic attacks or how to deal with them.

What you have to do is protect yourself from the emotional feelings that accompany other people’s thoughts. The simplest thing to do is to keep those people out of your lives, but that is not easy. When your life is at stake there are sometimes hard decisions to be made, especially when you are on this Transformative Experience.

In my life, I’ve found it quite exhausting to be around certain people and have deliberately severed ties. I realized that my welfare was at stake and for the good of my health I had to do it. Three people come to mind as I tell you this, two were friends and one a close relative. Although cutting off these people in my life may seem cold-hearted, I still recall the relief in doing so.

It felt like lifting a bag of sand off my shoulders.

It is inevitable that as you progress through a transformative process the people around you will change a bit. New people show up. Many of the people who were close to you when you were in your version of quicksand simply drift or pull away. When people see the changes in your attitude and confidence and start to notice your success as well, it can make them uncomfortable. Your higher frequency can create distortions in their lower energy field. In my experience, this ‘changing of the guard,’ happens naturally and smoothly, and is in all parties’ best interests. Even when I have deliberately cut someone off, it works out in their best interests too.

Especially in the early stages of your transformation your higher frequency is vulnerable to attack. You might not be used to being the center of attention. Leading by example may be a new role for you. You’ll find yourself in perhaps unfamiliar settings like investor meetings or sales and marketing launches, book signings, stage roles, award ceremonies. Praise and criticism can disrupt your frequency.

There are several tools you can use to help maintain protection.

Bell Jar On!

Decades ago I learned a mental technique that is often used by top sportsmen and sportswomen. Some sports psychologists teach it. I learned this from Jack Black who claims to have taught it to golfer Seve Ballesteros whose game was negatively influenced by the emotions of spectators. He simply got Seve to imagine a giant bell jar descending from the sky. It was so big and so thick that it covered him completely. Now Seve was to imagine the spectators’ negative emotions bouncing off the jar and breaking up in thin air. Jack Black claims it was the secret to Seve’s later tournament success. Whether it was or not, or even if the anecdote was true or not, I tried it and it worked a treat for me so I use it all the time now.

I like to call it “The Mentality Shield.” You can call it anything you want. You can make it like a Harry Potter invisibility cloak if you prefer or build glass bricks around you one by one. Whatever works for you.

I use the mentality shield trick every day when I am in the company of others, and for most of the day. I do not leave home without it. I do not enter the company of others without imagining it firmly in place. That means everyone, friends and family included. I would never go into a business meeting without it. I use it to protect me from the emotions of others. I repeatedly envisage it descending from the sky, through the ceiling, over my head and shoulders. I watch the talking heads and imagine their emotions like rays bouncing off the glass into dust.

From Three Simple Steps:

In the mid-1970s I enjoyed watching golf and tennis tournaments on TV. I think it was the isolation of the player and the fact that it is one person against the opponent, the course, the crowd, and the critics that kept my attention on those particular sports. I loved watching sports stars who were unmoved by the hostility in the crowds around them. Men like Bjorn Borg, and Jack Nicklaus were heroes to me. Sevvy Ballesteros had turned professional at just sixteen years old. Now, here was a kid half Jack Nicklaus’ age, and only a year older then me, playing alongside him with the same implacable calm.

After a successful round, the interviewer asked Ballesteros how he coped with the pressure of playing with such icons, and with the raucous crowd that followed them. Politely, he explained that he came from a family of gifted golfers, and they had taught him a technique whereby he imagined a thick, glass, bell-shaped jar descending from the sky, and covering him completely. Inside his bell jar, he said, he was able to shut out the outside world, and achieve anything.

The interviewer seemed uninterested, and went on to ask more mundane tournament-related questions. I literally jumped out of my chair with excitement. Although modernized imagery, his technique was the same one I had read about in many biographies. Some called it a deflection spell, others a mental shield.

Everyday thereafter, I walked to the school bus stop using a different route from my siblings. This required climbing a fence, crossing a muddy field, and rejoining them half a mile away. They probably thought I was in a grumpy teenage mood. What I actually did during that detour, however, was to imagine that a huge glass cloak descended from the sky, and completely covered me as I walked. By the time I rejoined my siblings, I was fully protected inside this shield. I imagined all slurs and taunts bouncing off the glass or exploding on impact.

The effect of this simple trick was astounding. I felt powerful and impervious to any insults. No one could hurt me anymore. My schoolwork returned to its higher standard. I played better at sports. For the first time in my life, girls seemed willing to interact with me. It was as if someone had flicked a switch, and I had changed my persona overnight. Gradually my self-esteem improved. I gained confidence, and perhaps because I was no longer focusing on it, and certainly no longer against it, the bullying simply stopped.

Then in 1976, Sevvy Ballesteros came in second in the British Open, and captured the world’s attention. I watched his performance, and true to his interview, he was so calm under pressure. I have used this technique ever since, a trick I call my mentality shield. Whether in investor meetings, public speaking, or just in a crowd at a concert, it protects me from external stimuli that I don’t want in my mind. Over the years, I have studied a wide variety of religions and disciplines, and I find a form of my mentality shield in all of them.

Break the Connection

Being bombarded by negative emotions can feel overwhelming even with the mentality shield in place. Sometimes you can’t get your family to switch off the news channel or the atmosphere at home is toxic for some reason. Sometimes at work or in the coffee line you might get cornered by complainers. In these extreme situations it is essential you break the connection. Think of everyone around you in those scenarios like the dementors of Harry Potter fiction, floating around you trying to suck the happiness out of the room. In these situations it is essential you take a break to snap the connection.

Excuse yourself often (got to make a call, need a restroom etc). When I had a regular career my peers thought I had a very weak bladder, because I so often excused myself during the meetings.

Energy Cleanse

Before any meeting online or in person I like to perform a quick ritual I call an energy cleanse. Try it alone first and observe the effect on you. I have made a short video below.

First rub your hands together vigorously. Feel the exchange of heat and other energies. Rub the palms of your hands over your face three times and after each pass shake out the fingers. It is a bit like rubbing water off your face and shaking it off your hands.

Rub the hands together a second time and this time draw your palms over the crown of your head three times. Shake the fingers out.

Finally rub the hands together again and this time draw your hands along the back of your neck and shoulders.

This is a very powerful technique and rooted in ancient wisdom. Although it might feel odd at first, think about how we naturally react to certain sensory inputs. When watching a scary movie we place our hands over our faces and watch between our fingers. When watching our favorite sports team lose a vital point we throw our hands over the crown of our head. When we see someone crying we naturally start to stroke their shoulders and neck for comfort. These are our inbuilt, ancient energy cleansing moves. The ritual described here is simply designed to do it more thoroughly.

Try it. Then teach it to anyone you care about. Everyone finds it comforting.

Accepting Praise

An energy healer walked up to me once and said ‘Wow, you have trouble accepting praise.’ I laughed but knew she was bang on. For some reason I give out a lot of praise but struggle to let it in. I have met many people with a similar discomfort being praised or being the center of attention. Although I took her comment lightly, she went on to explain that from a health perspective it was dangerous to allow one’s energy to get so depleted by being a constant ‘giver.’ (her word for me and for fun she still calls me Mr. Giver).

She recommends for anyone that whenever praise received makes us uncomfortable we should imagine a flock of hummingbirds fluttering into the center of the back of our chests and into our hearts. I do that now.

Another word from My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor. Here she has some astounding information on emotions.

“I define responsibility (response-ability) as the ability to choose how we respond to stimulation coming in through our sensory systems at  any moment in time. Although there are certain limbic system (emotional) programs that can be triggered automatically, it takes less than 90 seconds for one of those programs to be triggered, surge through our body, and then be completely flushed out of our blood stream. My anger response, for example, is a programmed response that can be set off automatically. Once triggered, the chemical released by my brain surges through my body and I have a physiological experience. Within 90 seconds from the initial trigger, the chemical component of my anger has completely dissipated from my blood and my automatic response is over. If, however, I remain angry after those 90 seconds have passed, then it is because I have chosen to let the circuit continue to run. Moment by moment, I make the choice to either hook into my neurocircuitry or move back into the present moment, allowing that reaction to melt away as fleeting physiology.”

A recent email helps cement the point.

Just a brief follow up. I’m doing great, and believe in the power of the 3 Simple Steps more than ever. I had to re-read the book to understand the concept better. I just got back from a fishing trip, and noticed the constant complaining from a few of my fishing buddies. Comments like, “the problem with this country is —-“, or “companies don’t care about their employees”, etc… Just a lot of negativity. I was unable to change the subject, so I excused myself and escaped to some solitude down at the dock by myself. You probably won’t be surprised to find out that the guys that were complaining all had “bad luck” on the trip. One of them had their truck hit at the boat launch while we were out fishing. The same guy had several issues with his boat. Another guy (chronic complainer) had his boat motor blow up, and then blew a tire on the way back. Based on the law of attraction I think that they brought a lot of this bad luck on themselves. I stay positive, think positive thoughts, and know that things are going to work out great for me, and they always do. Sometimes it takes a while for the universe to work its magic, but eventually it always does. One of the complainers is a great friend, that’s open minded, so I’m ordering him a copy of “3 Simple Steps” today.

Also, I wrote down an intention that I owned (past tense) my own business. Then I received 2 unsolicited opportunities to buy insurance companies. To put it simply, this stuff works. Thanks for writing a great book, and also taking the time to respond to me when I had fallen off track.

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